March 15th 2016
In his heart, a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. – Proverbs 16:9
When I was 23 years old, I gave birth to my first child, Ashley Grace. She was a beautiful olive-skinned, dark-haired girl but boy…what a set of lungs! Her cries pierced my sleep at night and demanded immediate attention. Her cries became almost inconsolable after she would dirty her diaper. I thought what is going on? I began to see open sores in her diaper area even though I was changing those diapers immediately. Visits to the pediatrician resulted in formula changes, cloth diapers and warm wash cloths instead of baby wipes. Still no wound improvement.
Deciding I needed another medical opinion after six-weeks of fussy baby, exhausted Mommy and nasty open wounds which responded to no lotions or antibiotics, I took Ashley to Geisinger to be evaluated by a second team of doctors. Within hours, the pediatric oncologists entered the room to deliver a horrible blow—my sweet baby girl had cancer. Not only was the cancer diagnosis devastating but the location of the tumor was equally troubling. The tumor was tightly wrapped around the sciatic nerve in her leg which would prohibit all future growth of her leg. The surgeons felt that amputating her leg was the best course of action. However, the pediatric oncologists felt that we should at least try chemotherapy first and see what might happen to the size of the tumor. The next day Ashley went into surgery where a PIC line was installed and chemo was then delivered through this line into her little body. She was now six-weeks old.
In the months of weekly trips to Danville that followed, I watched my daughter’s skin color fade. I watched her hair fall out and I watched her appearance become skeletal. Every ounce she gained was a major victory for her. At one year of age, after her final chemo treatment she weighed only 12 pounds but after this year of chaos and fear, she was considered in remission. Her tumor had shrunk down to nothing with no surgical intervention.
What did I learn from this time in my life that I would like to share with you? Control over my child’s physical being had been taken out of my hands. Nothing I did or could do would affect the outcome of the medical journey my daughter had undertaken. I prayed to God to spare her life. Her life truly was in God’s hands. Trust the Lord with your children.
– Lisa Gordner